When I wake in the morning, I first ask the lord to bless the people in my life and the people who have touched my life at one point in time. Then I ask him to help me forgive myself of my past journey. Before I go into my message, I would like to bring up why I still pray for those who are not in my life. Just because a person is no longer a day to day impact on my life, does not mean I still don't wish them well on their journey in life. That would be like forgetting all the things they were to me while they were in my life. No matter what I did or they did, for us not to be close as once before, does not erase the journey we did have. But that another message I might go into another day if I feel is necessary.
But my thought for the day is being able to forgive yourself. Through my journey in the bible this year I have studied the one demon that I felt consumes me. In the past holding grudges or seeking revenge, was something that I had a problem with. I could list all the chapters and verses, but Im not at this time. I dont feel that it is necessary at the time. This weekend I found a verse that actually links seeking forgiveness, and actually following through with your promise of forgiving to another person. One person can not truly forgive another person and have their heart consumed with hate. This verse I will share 1 John 3:13-14 talks about hating another person, and how hating another person is like killing your insides. I would at times say out loud that I forgave someone, but then my actions which is spoken in Proverb 14:17 of anger showed another one of my demons.
Hate and anger I believe are two combinations that can actually cripple a person, and these two actions did just that. Some people may know I broke my ankle in MD. The action I had performed was from anger towards another person and their words to me. Which made me not have the patients I needed that could of prevented me from doing certain actions. That was not the only time anger took a hold of me in that setting, and caused me to further distant my relationship with a certain person. I asked for forgiveness but my actions at time did not show that my words were genuine. I began to not only hate other but I began to hate myself for my actions. This gave more demons an easy access into my life, which began to further bring my situation down..
In Proverb 14:17 it also mentions about what our intention are after performing an act. Even though sometimes our intention might seem genuine, God knows the truth. So down the line he might prevent us access to the thing we wanted, that we might of gotten from false actions. I started gathering all these ideas in my head about my actions in the past two years, and did I truly deserve all that happen. I started looking at everything that happen as a key to unlock the door to the knowledge I have started to obtain about life itself. Tools I needed to better my life, at this point forgiveness of myself and controlling my anger are those tools.
Seeking the forgiveness of someone and dwelling on the thought that they may or may not forgive you, who you asking is not genuine. A person is just asking so they may get back in that person good eye. If a person ask for forgiveness then shows through action that it is genuine they might get that person forgiveness. If it is genuine and God knows it is genuine, then the person not being able to forgive another person is between that person and God. I had to to realize it is not my place to dwell on the action of another person. I can aide them in seeking God but I should not dwell to the fact it compromise my actions in life. That is like an open window to a demon.
Every morning I seek guidance from God and I feel that I have finally open my eyes to see that path. It is not all clear to me, but I now recognize it under my feet. A person the other day ask me why I do these Blogs, and I always gone with the mind frame, you never know who might be going through the same struggle as you, and maybe I can help them better then I can help myself.
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